Thursday, September 22, 2011

CrazyMom and 30 second waits don’t mix

“CrazyMom, can you come here!” I was saying very loudly trying unsuccessfully to make it sound like I was not yelling. “Quickly!” I added in a tone trying to convey to CrazyMom TO COME RIGHT NOW without the piano teacher, who was in our living room, thinking there was anything strange going on.

But something strange was going on, and I think the piano teacher knew it. How on earth can the planets align so that a calm, cool-headed guy like myself ends up sticking my head out of our room while hiding my dripping and under-clothed body while yelling for my wife because there is milky white water running all over the bathroom counter and flooding the floor?

Well, the planets get this way because CrazyMom has too much to do.

Riddle: Where is the best place to find CrazyMom’s coffee?

Answer: In the microwave.

You see, rather than waiting for the 30 seconds that it takes for the microwave to reheat her coffee, she figures she has just enough time to do this, which leads to that, which leads to the other thing. This means that a half hour later when she is looking for her coffee, she finds it cold again in the microwave. So she sets the microwave for another 30 seconds, which is just enough time to do this, which leads to that . . .

So tonight I came home a total mess because a student threw a can of white paint on me to help promote school spirit – one of those teaching things. Anyway, I went upstairs and started soaking my shirt in the sink. While I was in the shower, CrazyMom arrived on the scene and decided to flush and refill the water in the sink since there was so much paint. Of course, it takes about 30 seconds to refill the sink, which is just enough time to do this, which leads to that . . .

When I turned off the shower, heard the water running, and saw that CrazyMom was long gone, I knew there was a problem. Dashing to the bedroom door, I started yelling. CrazyMom arrived in a flash and we started soaking up the water.

“Don’t worry about the counter,” I told CrazyMom when she started mopping up the mess there. “We have to get it off the floor so it does not soak through to the ceiling below.”

As I said it, Miss Bookworm showed up at the bathroom door. “Um, water is coming through the ceiling downstairs,” she said.

Unlucky there.

So, here is the stack of stools to hold the fan to blow in the hole to dry up the water that came through the floor.

Oh, and one more thing. I just went and checked the microwave. Sure enough there is a cup of cold coffee there.


Tom Snide said...

We've had the same problem. I figure that's why God invented can lights: naturally occurring holes in the ceiling so that water can travel downward easily.

Perhaps she should have put a coffee filter full of coffee under the dripping water? :_)

Great blog Mark.

Wendy F said...

Hi Mr. Daubenmier, I might have fallen of the chair laughing so hard. I really enjoyed your past couple of posts.

Mama D.'s Dozen said...

Always fun to get insights into Crazy Mom's life.

I don't leave coffee in the microwave, but I was drinking an iced mocha for probably about 3 hours today ... leaving it all kinds of misc. places around the house so that the kids could say, "Mom, are you going to drink this coffee?"

Teacher covered with paint? Yea. I can picture that one, as well, since my husband was a teacher for 21 years.

:) :) :)

Anonymous said...

LOVE this post. Made me smile so much.

Todd said...

You are a brave, brave man with a very forgiving wife to be permitted to post that story. I admire your courage and thank you for giving me a much-needed belly laugh...

Carissa said...

My husband brings me the laptop with this blog post pulled up, and says "I didn't know that you and Crazy Mom were related."