Thursday, February 24, 2011

Women are So Hard to Understand

Pop Quiz: It is almost 10 o'clock at night and CrazyMom says, "I don't have ice cream for K.D.'s birthday party tomorrow. I have to run to the store." Which of the following best describes what is about to happen?

A: CrazyMom will run out to the store and buy ice cream and be back in 10 minutes.
B: CrayzMom will run out to the store and buy 25 bags of groceries and be back in 1.5 hours.

Well, I know the answer is B because CrazyMom just got back from the store and here is what she bought. Actually, she bought more than this, but this is all that I could fit on the counter.

I also wonder what she means when she says, "Why are you taking pictures of the groceries rather then helping me put them away?" While I don't know exactly what it means, I think it has something to do with me being in trouble.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

CrazyMom is in the Kitchen

It is a typical Saturday night in our house with CrazyMom out in the kitchen preparing Sunday lunch and me back in my office “working.” I often think that we should just eat out after church so CrazyMom does not have to cook on Saturday nights, but that is just because I am ignorant of the cost difference. Take, for example, the Sunday meal that CrazyMom served the family a few weeks back.

“So, how much did this meal cost?” I asked when we sat down, thinking the number could be large and it might have just been easier to eat out.

After a moment of doing some mental math, CrazyMom said, “About $8.”

Eight dollars? I was stunned. Never again will I suggest the lazy path of eating out.

By the way, here is the breakdown of the cost of the meal:
$2.50 for the 1/4 of the ginormous turkey CrazyMom bought on sale at Thanksgiving.
$0.00 for the potatoes from the garden of CrazyMom’s brother.
$2.00 for the stuffing
$0.00 for the gravy - thank you Mr. Turkey
$2.00 for the broccoli
$1.50 for 2/3 of a gallon of milk

Friday, February 4, 2011

What Broke Today?

“What broke today?” is what I ought to say when I walk in the door from work. I think that would be better for my emotional state than walking in, dropping my bag, and collapsing in a chair just to have CrazyMom or one of the kids then come to rouse me to go fix what broke that day.

Note: We do not have destructive kids. It is just that most of our owner manuals say, “Not intended for commercial use.”

After arriving home late last night due to parent conferences, CrazyMom informed me that the dryer broke that day. In a house of nine, this gets classified as a code orange emergency. Longing to go to bed, I dragged myself into the laundry room just to find that none of the routine checks fixed the dryer. Unlucky there.

Google led me to open up the back of the unit to look for the most likely culprit – the thermal fuse. My cynical Google friends were right that the fuse had been hidden from me in order to try to get me to call service for a $10 part. Depressed, I headed for bed.

On my way to bed I passed through the kitchen. “Honey, the faucet on the kitchen sink . . . “ CrazyMom trailed off when she saw the look in my eyes. “I suppose this is not a good time to bring that up, huh?”

Tonight, after being broken for 24 hours and no part ordered yet, CrazyMom reclassified the dryer as a code red emergency. Dreaming of an easy fix, I decided to check the power to the unit. The dryer was spinning but not drying, but still, just one leg of the 220 could be down. I would have missed the problem if it were not for Miss Bookworm who was under the impression that I needed a flashlight. As she shined the flashlight on the socket I could see into the holes and noticed that something did not look quite right. Upon further inspection, this is what I found.

How does the back break out of the socket in the wall when nobody has touched the plug in over a year? Well, it just does.

Now, about that faucet . . .