Celebrating Five Years in America

F.G. and K.D. just celebrated their five-year anniversary of landing on American soil. The above photo shows how much they have changed physically, but they have grown in many other ways as well.

I sat down and chatted with both of them today about some of their early memories of the transition to America. K.D. remembers grabbing Little Foot’s hand when he got off the plane and not letting go for the rest of the day. Little Foot was a big comfort to K.D. when he first came and none of the warnings we heard about “virtual twinning” came true for us.

K.D. also remembers looking out the airplane window and thinking he saw moving bugs on the ground. He could not figure out why they were so “civilized,” moving along lines so neatly. It was not until the plane got close enough to the ground that he saw they were really cars.

F.G. remembers being brown in a largely white world. There were times when she just wanted to blend in and not be seen, but everybody noticed her.

When I asked them about the best things about living in America, here is what they said:

K.D.
-Pizza!
-Living in a house with a TV that shows American football.
-Being able to turn on a switch and have a light come on whenever you want.
-That the houses are not small.
-Not getting hit with a stick in school.

F.G.
-Having more food than she could normally get.
-Being able to go to school.
-Having parents that love you.
-Being able to sleep in a bed in a big room.
-Having more opportunities to play with friends.

There are things to be missed, however. They both miss friends and loved ones. F.G. also misses being able to walk to the market rather than having to take a car. K.D. misses roaming the streets with his friends. Sometimes he would find a coin, walk into a store, buy a piece of bread, and then take it home to share with his sister.

It was fun to reminisce about the “old” days with the two of them. I am looking forward to seeing what the next five years bring.

A Great Video from Project Hopeful

We are fans of Project Hopeful. It is an organization that is involved in "educating, encouraging, and enabling families adopting children with HIV/AIDS." They just released a great short video which is especially relevant today since it is World AIDS Day.

K.D.'s School Story

Tuesday evening our family joined some other home-schooling families for a geography fair. Each family presented a country of their choice. Not surprisingly, we chose to present Ethiopia. In preparing for the event, we talked more about Ethiopia than we normally do. As a result, some new stories emerged from our children that we had not heard before. Here is one from K.D. about something that happened when he was in school in Ethiopia.



In case you can't follow K.D.'s story, here is a synopsis. The teacher gave the kids an opportunity to go the bathroom during the school day. K.D. was the first to the boys room, but as he was going to the bathroom another boy pushed into the bathroom. K.D. accidentally peed on the boy's pants. The teacher was not pleased and asked the students who would want to go and get the perfect stick. The teacher selected one of the many volunteers who went and retrieved a stick from a nearby tree, which the teacher promptly used to spank K.D.

Anna Tells a Story

I have not posted about Anna lately, so I grabbed the video camera last night at bedtime and asked her to tell me a story. She happens to be long winded, so don't feel obligated to watch the whole thing. It does give you a great opportunity to observe two things, however. First, one can see the current state of her English skills after starting to learn English about seven months ago. Second, one gets to see how adorable she is. :-)

Readoption in the US

Anna is now our child all over again. We made a court appearance today where a US court agreed that indeed Anna was our child. Yeah!

Medical Conditions to Expect

The question about what medical conditions one could expect when adopting from Ethiopia came up in a comment by Katie. I am not a doctor and this is certainly not a comprehensive list, but below are some of the things either we or others we know have experienced.

Lice – Sure you have heard of it, but can you identify it in your new child’s hair? We missed it on one of our new kids the first go around and then had to deal with a full blown case in our home. The next time we adopted, we took the special shampoo with us and had it all taken care of before we set foot in the US.

Ringworm – This fungal infection can affect the skin, but is more prevalent on the scalp. You will notice that your child appears to have dandruff or something similar but more pronounced. Topical creams don’t work on the scalp so you will need to get a prescription for an oral medication.

Other fungal skin conditions – I have no idea what all of the varieties are, but they are usually solved with a cream that you would use for athlete’s foot.

Molluscum Contagiosum – These water warts caused by a virus can be small or grow to be quite large. There are many suggested but not verifiably effective remedies. Usually the best thing to do with mild cases is to just let nature run its course. Over several months the body will win the war with the virus and they will burst or be reabsorbed.

Scabies – This little mite burrows in your skin and can cause some intense itching and may be treated with a full body cream.

Various intestinal parasites – When you get back to the US you will be collecting stool samples to test for all sorts of parasites. If something turns up, you get a prescription to take care of it. One thing to note is that giardia is not always found the first time around, so request a retest if the diarrhea does not improve.

Tuberculosis – TB is present in Ethiopia and there is a chance that your child may come home with it. The most likely symptom will be a persistent cough. You can read up on the other symptoms online. Diagnosing pediatric TB can be tough. Usually doctors check to see if the parents have it which probably can’t be done in the case of an adopted child. While TB is serious, it is great to be in America where we have all sorts of drugs to address it. One good thing is that the CDC says that kids under 10 are generally not considered contagious.

This is my list. Feel free to add anything else you have encountered so others know what to expect.

A Grateful Orphan

Admit it. One of the fantasies that we adoptive parents have is that the child, an orphan from a poor and distant land, will snuggle up to us and with a near tear in their eye say, “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for adopting me. I am so very grateful.”

What is a fantasy for us can be an expectation for others. On the plane ride home from Ethiopia, a gentleman from Africa was talking to me and telling me how lucky Anna was and how much she will thank me. He expected that Anna would be grateful. I also recall hearing about a disrupted adoption where the mother had said, “I was expecting a grateful orphan.” She was unprepared to parent an ungrateful child.

Sometimes I fall into expecting more gratefulness from my adopted children. When I give a hand-me-down bike to one of my adopted children (as I would to any of my children) and they complain because it is not a new bike (as any of my children might) I find myself wanting to say, “Hey, wait a minute. You wouldn’t have a bike at all in Ethiopia. Maybe you should be grateful you even have a bike.”

There is likely a continuum among adopted children. On the left are those who have an acute sense of localized justice. If you are passing out jelly beans, they want to know how many each child has received to make sure they were not slighted. On the other end of the spectrum are those who have an acute sense of the unfairness of their new found privilege. These children realize they have bikes, beds, and bathtubs. More than that, they realize they are one who has survived where others have not and they suffer from survivor’s guilt.

I suppose there is a narrow slice of adopted children right in the middle with just the right balance – grateful for the privileged life they now live but not burdened by the guilt of being a survivor - but to expect that your adopted child will be from this narrow slice is probably unrealistic.

So the adopted child may be no more grateful than any other child. That is just fine. In fact, it is probably a good sign. It shows that the child can simply be a child again.

I am a Hypocrite

I am a hypocrite and I have the evidence to prove it.

Exhibit #1 – Going through the adoption process we had to gather recommendations. One friend wrote a rec that was glowing beyond belief. Here is a sample phrase: “Neither CrazyMom nor CrazyD ever raise their voices to their kids.” Knowing that the reader would balk at this, the friend felt compelled to add this note at the end: “I realize that this application may seem overstated, but I stand by every word”. He can stand by his words, but he will lose money if he bets on them.

Exhibit #2 – I end up in conversations where the other person is going on about how we have done such a wonderful thing and we are incredible people and they are amazed by us and so on and so on and so on.

Exhibit #3 – As I look over my blog posts, it is clear that they paint a picture of me that is too favorable. While some say in the comments that I am honest, I am only honest when I want to be. I disclose only those things that I am comfortable disclosing. So in total, the projected image is too rosy.

What does it matter if people think more highly of me than they should? It matters. People who think I am some sort of super dad are prone to think that they could never do what I have done. And when they think that, my hypocrisy has hurt the cause of orphans in the world.

Here is the real me. I have moments where I wish that all of my kids would go away. I have moments where I don’t feel loving towards CrazyMom. And I certainly have bad days where I am not pleasant to be around. I suspect that I am a lot like you. Or, maybe you always want your kids around, always feel loving toward your spouse, and always are pleasant to be around, in which case you are much farther ahead than I am.

So if you are considering adopting, don’t think that those of us who have gone before you are in some way better than you. We are not. Rather, we testify to the fact that someone just like you can adopt and make a dream come true for a child – a dream for a family.

The Good Stuff About Adopting

In the subsequent discussion resulting from the post regarding the tough stuff about adopting, Anna Maupin said that she thought it would be good for us to share about the some of the pleasant surprises that we have had. It is hard to pass on a good idea like that, so hear are some of the things for us. Please leave a comment and share your good stories with us, too.

First, I have been surprised by the good it does ones heart to love yet another child. I know in my head that our hearts have an incredible capacity to love, but it is an entirely different thing to experience your heart loving more people. And when you experience it, you realize that it does your heart good.

I have been surprised by how much I like brown skin. In the past when I had thought about brown skin my thoughts were dominated by racism in America. Now that I live with brown-skinned kids, I get to enjoy the qualities of brown skin without always thinking about racism. Also, I love taking pictures of them and working with the richness of color that there is as light spills across their skin.

I also love seeing the things that are largely universal in kids. All of our kids are different, but all of them have some things that are the same. Seeing the things that transcend culture, race, and nationality is a real treat.

When I asked CrazyMom about this she said she loves the diversity of culture that is now in our home and the perspective that adoption brings to all of our children.

Also, when CrazyMom hears K.D. complaining about not having a toy or not getting a second piece of candy she smiles inside. It is just so satisfying to see that he no longer has to complain about a lack of food or a lack of clean water.

These are a few of our fun surprises. So how about you? What fun things have surprised you?

Unsupportive Family

In a recent post many of you shared some amazing stories of the tough stuff about adopting . Carissa shared that the difficulty she is facing right now is having parents who are “unsupportive to the point of refusing contact.” That is tough stuff indeed.

Carissa asked for some advice, but I feel unqualified to give it. CrazyMom and I have been blessed with a supportive family and have not had to bear that cross. I have heard multiple stories of parents who were against their adult children adopting. It seems like they are concerned that the new child is not the same color, or the child will consume too much of the family resources, or the child is handicapped, or the child will have a negative impact on the other kids in the home. Fortunately, it seems that many of these parents who wish the adoption would not take place change their minds after it does and they have developed a relationship with the child.

That is about all I know. If you have walked this path, please feel free to leave a comment for Carissa.

What If?

I have been ruminating over the Tough Stuff stories that many of you shared and it has caused me to ask what if -- what if it were my children who were orphaned?

I imagine my 40th birthday party where family and friends have gathered. Some disaster strikes leaving my children orphans and no close loved ones to swoop in and care for them. A social worker leads my children by the hand to a foster home and after a year or so some are adopted by a family here and some are adopted by your family.

How will my children behave in your home? After opening up your home and laying your heart on the line they may bite you, hit you, or scream at you. They may say, “I hate you!” or “You are not my dad!” They may do those things of which you spoke in the tough stuff post.

But after reading your comments, I know that you are ready to rise to the challenge for my children and other children in need. I am deeply moved that whether the journey has been easy or fraught with peril, you have given your all to try to make it though the tough stuff. Then some of you emerge from this phase and turn right back around to go though it again with another adopted child. All of you are amazing.

So on behalf of all of the parents who desperately wish they could care for their children, but due to death, AIDS, poverty, and violence they can not do so, I say thank you. Thank you for going through the tough stuff to redeem these children and make them a part of your family. You have heeded the call to be imitators of Christ, who went through the tough stuff to redeem us and make us a part of His family.

And for those of you who are thinking about adopting, I invite you on a journey to redeem a child. It will possibly be the hardest and most rewarding thing you will ever do.

The Tough Stuff About Adopting

For those who have been with me for awhile, you may recall the post What Have I Done? from about a year ago. In it I explored those dark moments after adopting where some of us wondered what we had done.

I have been thinking lately about the trials of adopting. Often when talking with someone who is considering adopting, they want to know about the tough stuff. They want to know what it is so they can ascertain if they have the reserves to walk through what might come their way.

So, if you have adopted, here is an opportunity to let others see what the tough stuff is. Please leave a brief comment that conveys what the hardest part about adopting was for you.

Note: I am more concerned about authenticity than about knowing who you are, so feel free to log out of your Google account and leave an anonymous comment if that is more comfortable for you. On the other hand, if you have posted about your tough stuff on your blog, feel free to leave a link here.

Note: This is not a contest to see who has had the worst experience. Do not let the easy or difficult time others have had hinder you from sharing what you have experienced.

A final important note: You may have come through your hard time, you may still be in your hard time, or you may not have made it through. Let us know if you are still dealing with your tough stuff so we can be praying for you.

I guess I should go first. Here is my brief “comment.”

Hi - My wife and I have four bio kids (6-12) and have adopted 3 kids from Ethiopia (4-9). One of the hard things for me was when something was not going well (difficult interaction with a child or tension between children) I would assume that the behavior would get a little worse each year for the next decade and there would no longer be any happiness in my life. It turns out that this stuff continues to get better for us over time, as my rational side suspected, even though my emotional side was all that my head could hear in the moment.

Why not Anna last year?

Anna and K.D. are together again after not seeing each other for about a year and a half. Seeing them side-by-side is one of those things that gives you a deep sense of satisfaction and peace in your innermost being. The question has come up in a comment on our blog as to why we did not adopt Anna last year when we adopted her brother K.D. The truth is that we tried. Both K.D. and Anna were brought forward for adoption in Ethiopia and CrazyMom and I pursued them both.

We could not adopt Anna at that time because the adoption agency we were using decided not to facilitate the adoption. While we won’t be sharing why they refused in this case, in general adoption agencies may make this sort of decision for a variety of reasons. For example, they may not feel comfortable working with the birth family, the child, or the adoptive family. Or they may feel the child and the adoptive family are not a good fit. Or there could be a host of other concerns that the agency has.

While this was a setback for us and we strongly disagreed with the agency, I remember not being that upset with them about it. It wasn’t like we couldn’t adopt Anna; we would just have to use a different agency that thought more like us. Yes, it was going to cost us thousands of dollars and take another year to start over with a new agency, but I remember just thinking, “So be it.” CrazyMom and I contacted Adoption Advocates International who was very willing to help us adopt Anna.

AAI told us that the normal procedure is to do an agency-to-agency transfer of Anna’s contact information. I called our old agency and let them know to whom they could send the information.

Our agency said no. They would not transfer the contact information to AAI.

Our agency said they were acting in our best interest. But in subsequent and futile conversations with them I was told that if they gave the contact information to AAI, AAI would still not be able to find Anna. In order for AAI to find Anna, our agency would have also have to disclose to AAI some of their “business contacts” who worked in the area of Ethiopia that Anna was from, and they were not willing to do that.


I was both shocked and upset. I was shocked because our agency was acting at least in part on the perceived best interest of their business model in the region. I was upset because I knew that this meant we would not be able to adopt Anna. The only information we had about her that we could give to AAI was a 1” by 2” photo of her with a hat on and the region of Ethiopia that she was in. Finding Anna would be like finding the proverbial needle in a haystack, and only God could do that.

And God did.

Scripture repeatedly tells us that we are to care for the less fortunate, particularly orphans and widows. Scripture also tells us that God sees himself as the “father of the fatherless” and the way He has chosen in this day and age to be that father is through His people - people like you and me. But these are all general things to me. What has impressed me over the last year is seeing how God specifically wanted Anna in our family and to prove it, He found the needle in the haystack. He used a network of people to find Anna - some of whom we knew at the time, some of whom we now know, and some of whom we will probably never meet this side of heaven. Finding this precious little girl in Ethiopia was truly a remarkable thing.

Obligation or Desire?

Sometimes we do what we are obligated to do and sometimes what we desire to do. Of course, the line is a little fuzzy, especially if you are prone to wanting to do the right thing. I remember having some episodes early on in the process of adopting Anna where I wondered if this was what I really wanted to do or not. A seventh child? So soon after we just adopted? Starting over with a child who was only four? But these episodes were brief because Anna was K.D.’s sister after all and it was clearly the right thing to do. There was an obligation that was unshakable.

One time when I was wondering about adopting Anna, CrazyMom told me a story about how one of her blog friends had a husband who was dragging his feet. Then, after the little girl came into their home, the girl was able to wrap dad around her little finger. It was a cute story, I supposed, but I am a much different type of guy.

Last night I was putting Anna to bed. As I was sitting in her darkened room and rocking her, she rested her sleepy head against my breast. I felt the love for a child sweep over me. At first my mind wandered back over the day that was filled with many smiles as Anna trucked all over the house. Then my mind wandered back to Ethiopia and the orphanage at which Anna was staying. It was a good orphanage, I thought, but how different that nighttime routine must have been than the nighttime routine for our family. It was sobering to think about and made me enjoy the moment with Anna even more. But it also made me grieve a little for the children I saw at Kidane Meheret who would go to bed in a room packed so tight with cribs that they would have to crawl over several in order to get to theirs. Children deserve family nighttime routines, I thought.

Why don’t more people adopt these kids, I wondered. But then I remembered my own reservations about adopting Anna and how it was the obligation I felt that carried me through. Now, with Anna in my arms, those reservations seemed foolish and I could only feel the desire I had for Anna.

And isn’t that how it often is. As we go about doing the things that we ought to be doing, those things become the desires of our hearts. For scripture tells us, “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” (Ps. 37:4)

Thank You For Adopting Anna

F.G. really loves kids and she has been having a ball playing with Anna for hours. The other night we were eating supper and F.G. was just gazing across the table at Anna. She said, “Dad, thank you for adopting Anna.”

From time to time CrazyMom and I will get asked a question about how the birth kids are faring since the adopted kids have arrived. The question stems from a concern that adopting might have had a negative impact on the birth kids.

Well, we have been very fortunate and all of our kids are doing great. Adopting has added a new richness to our family in areas such as culture, race, food, and awareness of the plight of others in the world. It has been wonderful for our kids and our family.

The transition to an adoptive family may have been easier for us than for some since we were fostering before we started down the path of adoption. Our birth kids were ecstatic the first time we told them we were adopting. Adopting meant that the next kids who came into our home would get to stay and would not have to leave.

Another reason why birth kids do well is the same reason adoptive kids do well. Kids are just so adaptable. Our kids from Ethiopia arrive on the scene where everything is different and they just say, “So this is how it is here. OK.” And they go on. Our birth kids do the same. “So this is how it is now. OK.” And they go on. Oh, to be young again.

After all of this talk about how wonderful everything is, it is important to say that things are not always pretty in our house. People get annoyed with each other. We get upset with the kids. The kids fight and carry on as kids do. But it is just the normal family stuff. A difference I do see, however, is that when two of our birth kids are fighting, I don’t think much of it and I deal with it as I normally would. When a birth child is squabbling with an adopted child, however, I find myself sometimes overanalyzing the situation. I don’t know if this hyper-sensitivity to how relationships are going will eventually fade or not, or even if it should.

So in this area of concern about adopting – is it good or bad for the birth kids – for us it has been a blessing. Our birth kids are the better for it.

AAI’s Layla House

Some of the adoption agencies operate their own care centers (or orphanages) and some just use other care centers in Addis.  AAI operates their own care center and a few of their kids are at other centers.  CrazyMom and I had the opportunity to visit Layla house today.  It is the sixth care center we have now visited in Addis.

 

Our overall impression of Layla house was WOW!  We sometimes use the expression that one thing is head and shoulders above the rest.  Layla house is a torso, head and shoulders above the rest.  We have heard that Merrily Ripley has been working in the area of adoption for many, many years (she has adopted 18 children of her own, started AHOPE in Addis, and started AAI).  I can't imagine how many care centers she has visited in her life, but she evidently brought all of the best things that she has seen the world over and put them into Layla house. 

 

Here are a few of the particulars that we saw.  CrazyMom was looking into a room with only five infants and a worker.  She commented on what a great ratio of workers to infants that was and the person showing us around said, "Oh, there are actually two workers in this room.  The other must be taking a break."  When we were in a toddler room we found out that they strip, wash, and remake the beds EVERY day.  CrazyMom was very impressed, but I don't thing she is going to alter the frequency of the sheet washing program in our home.  (She would not let me say how often she washes sheets on our blog.)  The older kids have anywhere from six to ten kids in a room and EACH room has a room mother that sleeps in the room at night.  The kids go to school on the grounds from 9am to 3pm each day, which is more rigorous than the Ethiopian schools.  All of the kids have daily showers.  There is a doctor on site every day caring for the kids and if a child is at a different care center, they bring the child to Layla on a regular basis for the doctor to see them.  They have six caseworkers and when we walked by their room today two of them were there working with some children.  There were a lot of different play spaces for the kids and even green grass and flowers, which were a sight for sore eyes.  The appropriate age kids also go to a computer lab twice a week to learn English using Rosetta Stone software, keyboarding, and word processing skills among other things.  And the list goes on.

 

Of course, the thing that gets one really excited is to see a compound with a 143 smiling and happy children.  I guess at some point a care center can be too good and the children would rather stay and have fun and play with their friends rather than leave with their new parents.  We will hope that Layla does not cross that line. 

It is a Question of Honor

The first time CrazyMom and I adopted, we debated about making a trip down to Sodo to meet any surviving family.  The agency we were using at the time discouraged us from doing so.  They said that is was a long and difficult trip and we would be on our own since they did not have the time or resources to help us with it.  They said the children have already said their goodbyes and it would be hard for them to go back.  They said the family members might ask us for money and complications could arise.  Our time in Ethiopia was short and so we acquiesced and did not go to Sodo.

 

Over the last year we were a little disappointed we had not gone to Sodo and wanted to try to make it happen this time.  In talking with people about the trip, someone asked us to think about what we would have to gain by going.  In reflecting on this question, I decided that I did not have much to gain although I was highly interested in going.  But when I thought about the birth family members in Sodo and my adopted children, I knew that they had a lot to gain.  If I were in a position where I and those around me could not care for my children and I had to give them up for adoption, I knew I would not be satisfied with a photo of the adoptive family.  I would want to see them with my own eyes.  I would want to see how they interacted with my children so I could know that everything would be all right.  And so I knew we should go to Sodo.

 

 The agency we are using this time is philosophically at the other extreme about visiting family.  They say it should be done.  They say that it is good for everybody, especially the children.  They say that when the children see a surviving family member give their blessing to the new parents, it is significant for the children.  And they are not all talk.  The agency brings the adoptive parents to Addis or takes the adoptive parents to the family.  They also send a social worker to the meeting to translate and provide expert care – even if it is an overnight trip to Sodo.  They find the time and resources to make family visits happen even though their fees are less.  It is a priority for them.

 

When we were in Sodo a family member asked me who came to pick up the children a year ago.  I said that it was CrazyMom and I and as I said it, I became angry.  I was not angry with them; I was angry with myself.  I could see in the body language that the real question was, "Why did you not come last year?  Why have I had to wonder about you for a whole year?" but they were too polite to ask the question that way.  And so I was angry with myself that I had not listened to what I thought was right and made the trip to Sodo a year ago.

 

A different family member told us, "Thank you for honoring us and honoring the children by coming to see us."  The statement brought into sharp focus for me the issue at stake.  It was a question of honor.  I can hear the birth family asking, "Will the rich American family that can provide for our children care enough to take the time to come and meet us?  Will they honor our family with a visit?"  It is very satisfying for me to know that I was able to honor the family on this trip to Ethiopia.  While I did not think that I had much to gain on the trip and it was more for the children and the family, I now agree with AAI - it is good for everybody.

 

(Disclaimer – I am not an expert in the field and every child/family is different.  There may very well be good reasons for you not to visit the birth family.  This is simply what I experienced.)

I Don’t Have a Family

Today we went back to the orphanage where Anna lived for a farewell party with some other adoptive families.  I had an errand to run so I went separately and got there a half hour or so before the main group.  Sister L. showed me to the official waiting room but I asked if I could roam the courtyard with the children instead.  "As you wish," she said and she disappeared to take care of other demands.  I had a crowd around me but I eventually made it to some stone steps leading into a building.  I sat down in the bright sunshine. The kids closest to me sat down as well pressing against my side and back as well as sitting at my feet. The younger kids would hold my hands or gently rub their hands on my arms to see what white skin felt like.  The outer group of kids had to stand and was generally comprised of older kids.  I passed the time trying to learn names and my pronunciations were often atrocious.  When I would finally get a name right, the child would quickly raise and lower their eyebrows in a sign of approval. The kids with better English skills played the role of translators.  They would ask me a question, I would respond, and then they would tell the others in Amharic what I had said. 

 

A little later I was walking again with the perpetual but ever changing crowd around me.  I felt a child's hand come into mine as had happened a hundred times already, but I did not look down until I had finished trying to learn another name.  When I looked down there was a young girl about five looking back up at me.  Her face was sad and her large brown eyes were soft and a little moist.  I bent over to ask her what her name was, but she spoke first.  "I don't have a family," she said softly not averting her eyes from mine.

 

I was taken aback.  In all the fun I was having with the children I had forgotten that Sister L. had told me that all of the kids know who has a family and who does not.  There are the "haves" and the "have nots".  Here I was looking into the eyes of a have not.  I put my other hand on her shoulder and said, "Soon.  Soon." 

 

But will it be soon for her?  How do I know?  Of the 170 children at K.M. not all will get a family soon and some will not get a family at all.  I witnessed today a bright handsome older boy saying goodbye to two good friends – something that he has done too many times before and now he is again left behind.  I also spent time with a beautiful girl who had strong English skills.  She is now a forever have not.  She was passed over too many times during her last eight to nine years at K.M. and now she is 16 and no longer adoptable.  Since she had nowhere to go, Sister L. transitioned her from being a child at K.M. to being a worker at K.M. 

 

And so it is at K.M., and at other orphanages in Addis Ababa, and in other cities in Ethiopia, and in other countries in sub-Saharan Africa and around the world.  Millions of children will go to bed tonight in a crowded room in an orphanage.  When they lay their heads down they will be acutely aware of the haves and the have nots in the room with them.  And the have nots will say softly to themselves, "I don't have a family."

Anna joins the family

Through the adoption process, there are a few days that really stand out. Today is one of those days. A long ways off in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, Anna went before a judge and officially joined our family. It sometimes seems to me that I ought to think it strange to have a family member that we have not yet met. It does not seem strange to me, however. In fact, it seems natural. There is a child in need of a family that can care for her and so she is getting a family.

Now that Anna is officially our child, we can post a picture of her. The above photo is a shot that was sent to us when she recieved a photo album that we sent to her. She is looking at the pages with pictures of the kids.

The next step for us is to hear when our US embassy appointment will be in Ethiopia. When we hear that date we will be able to plan our trip to Ethiopia to bring Anna to our home.

Another Adoption Update

We were hoping that Anna would officially become a part of our family on Wednesday, but it did not happen. The case went to court and was continued again. It seems that in a country where many people don't have an email address, a phone, or even a street address, it can be hard to get the word out on when people need to be at court. While we were disappointed to have another setback, things are looking very promising now for next Thursday, January 31st. Please keep Anna in your prayers.