Pre-Camping Memories

Camping is a great way to make family memories – both good and bad. I was reminded of that today when I found myself on a break from work wearing a dress shirt and tie in my front yard getting more and more sawdust stuck to my sweaty face because I was standing on my tiptoes swinging a chainsaw above my head trying to cut off the branch that was keeping me from backing my travel trailer up the driveway which was why my van was blocking both directions of traffic on the road in front of my house.

Can’t the memory making start after we get on the road?

I Guess I Do Want to Go!

The younger kids often get dragged to many events for the older kids – particularly soccer games. On Saturday morning KD walked into Ed’s bedroom and asked, “Ed, is there a soccer game today?”

“Yes, there is,” Ed replied.

Overwhelmed with disappointment, Kd groaned, “Oh, man,” and began sinking to the floor.

“But you are not going,” said Ed.

“Really?” asked KD with hope restored.

“Nope. You are going to a wedding instead!” said Ed, dealing the crushing blow with some delight.

“Oh, no!” said KD as he felt a new ginormous weight on his shoulders. “Please, Ed, can’t I go to the soccer game with you?”

Piano Recital

Here are a few excerpts from Ed and Buddy's piano recital from a few weeks back.

Easter

The Joy of Big Family Games

“So what are some of the challenges of having a big family?” the woman on the other end of the phone was asking me. I was surprised that what flooded my mind was the good things about big family life. I stammered around and finally said, “Shoes. They are everywhere.”

Lame. I know.

But it made me wonder what the kids would say about what they did not like about big family life, so the next morning I asked them. They, too, had a similar response and started talking about the good stuff. Every one of them said the same thing for the best thing about having a big family.

So what is the best thing about big family life?

Playing games.

When I probed a little further, what I discovered was that it was not just being able to play any game, but games that require multiple kids – ball freeze tag, four square, dodge ball, soccer, and knockout. These are the types of games that many kids only get to play at recess but big family kids can play all night long.

So, when you are thinking about whether or not to adopt a child (or another child), just remember that the joy of big family games may just be a child away.

The Downer of Having a Downsizing Dad

“Dad! I want to buy these walkie-talkies!” K.D. said excitedly as we walked by a display in our local Home Depot.

“Do you have enough money to buy them?” I asked, hoping that he would not.

“Yes! And I want to buy these,” he said as he longingly looked over the slick packaging. Little Foot was also taken in and started lobbying for K.D. to be able to buy them.

“But I don’t want any more stuff. We are trying to get to Africa and we need to be getting rid of stuff, not buying stuff,” I said with a hint of frustration over the prospect of buying something that was not biodegradable and a hint of guilt about being such a downer of a dad.

“But Dad! F.G. won’t let us play with hers and you won’t let us play with the ones you have,” they started complaining as if playing with walkie-talkies was an inalienable right put forth in our constitution.

Then the idea hit me.

“I’ll tell you what. I will let you boys buy walkie-talkies if you can fill two laundry baskets full of stuff you are willing to get rid of.”

The deal was on. When we got home, they scurried off to their room with the two laundry baskets I gave them. When the baskets were full, I sat down to order a pair online when I had another thought. Why do I want another pair of walkie-talkies in my house?

“Hey K.D.,” I said. “I’ll sell you my walkie-talkies.”

Now, I know that you are thinking I am a bad father. After all, I charged two laundry baskets full of stuff for the right to pay me money for some used walkie-talkies. Maybe you are right, but please don’t tell my kids that this is not how the real world works. Anna is so excited about the program that she filled a laundry basket full of stuff to get rid of and she doesn’t even know what she wants to buy yet.

Obssessed Son Plans His Future

One of our sons is obsessed with football.  Tonight he spent an hour playing a football card game that he got for his birthday.  Since he did not have anybody to play with him, he played by himself imagining that one team was OSU and the other was LSU.  He also played the role of announcer with phrases like "OSU throws the long bomb for 75 yards!"  or "Touchdown, LSU!" coming from the family room all night.

After brushing his teeth before bed, he asked, "Dad, do you know how to work out?"  He wants to start working out to make sure he is ready for the pros.

When I was tucking him into bed, he asked, "Dad, you know how someone can intercept the ball and run it back for a touchdown to win the game?  Well, when I do that, what should I say on TV?  What should I say about God?"

"Well, maybe you could say that you are thankful to God for the talents that He has given you," I said.

He thought that over and it seemed pretty good to him.  Then he asked, "Will that also go out on the radio?"

Women are So Hard to Understand

Pop Quiz: It is almost 10 o'clock at night and CrazyMom says, "I don't have ice cream for K.D.'s birthday party tomorrow. I have to run to the store." Which of the following best describes what is about to happen?

A: CrazyMom will run out to the store and buy ice cream and be back in 10 minutes.
B: CrayzMom will run out to the store and buy 25 bags of groceries and be back in 1.5 hours.

Well, I know the answer is B because CrazyMom just got back from the store and here is what she bought. Actually, she bought more than this, but this is all that I could fit on the counter.

I also wonder what she means when she says, "Why are you taking pictures of the groceries rather then helping me put them away?" While I don't know exactly what it means, I think it has something to do with me being in trouble.

CrazyMom is in the Kitchen

It is a typical Saturday night in our house with CrazyMom out in the kitchen preparing Sunday lunch and me back in my office “working.” I often think that we should just eat out after church so CrazyMom does not have to cook on Saturday nights, but that is just because I am ignorant of the cost difference. Take, for example, the Sunday meal that CrazyMom served the family a few weeks back.

“So, how much did this meal cost?” I asked when we sat down, thinking the number could be large and it might have just been easier to eat out.

After a moment of doing some mental math, CrazyMom said, “About $8.”

Eight dollars? I was stunned. Never again will I suggest the lazy path of eating out.

By the way, here is the breakdown of the cost of the meal:
$2.50 for the 1/4 of the ginormous turkey CrazyMom bought on sale at Thanksgiving.
$0.00 for the potatoes from the garden of CrazyMom’s brother.
$2.00 for the stuffing
$0.00 for the gravy - thank you Mr. Turkey
$2.00 for the broccoli
$1.50 for 2/3 of a gallon of milk

What Broke Today?

“What broke today?” is what I ought to say when I walk in the door from work. I think that would be better for my emotional state than walking in, dropping my bag, and collapsing in a chair just to have CrazyMom or one of the kids then come to rouse me to go fix what broke that day.

Note: We do not have destructive kids. It is just that most of our owner manuals say, “Not intended for commercial use.”

After arriving home late last night due to parent conferences, CrazyMom informed me that the dryer broke that day. In a house of nine, this gets classified as a code orange emergency. Longing to go to bed, I dragged myself into the laundry room just to find that none of the routine checks fixed the dryer. Unlucky there.

Google led me to open up the back of the unit to look for the most likely culprit – the thermal fuse. My cynical Google friends were right that the fuse had been hidden from me in order to try to get me to call service for a $10 part. Depressed, I headed for bed.

On my way to bed I passed through the kitchen. “Honey, the faucet on the kitchen sink . . . “ CrazyMom trailed off when she saw the look in my eyes. “I suppose this is not a good time to bring that up, huh?”

Tonight, after being broken for 24 hours and no part ordered yet, CrazyMom reclassified the dryer as a code red emergency. Dreaming of an easy fix, I decided to check the power to the unit. The dryer was spinning but not drying, but still, just one leg of the 220 could be down. I would have missed the problem if it were not for Miss Bookworm who was under the impression that I needed a flashlight. As she shined the flashlight on the socket I could see into the holes and noticed that something did not look quite right. Upon further inspection, this is what I found.

How does the back break out of the socket in the wall when nobody has touched the plug in over a year? Well, it just does.

Now, about that faucet . . .