Unpacking the Trip – Part 4
While the last post was all about what we did on our second full day in Ethiopia, this post is about the conflicted heart that I had.
My heart was troubled because I was simultaneously experiencing both an intense joy and an intense pain. I felt an unbelievable amount of joy as we finally were able to meet and begin to get to know our new kids. I also felt an unbelievable amount of pain as I saw around us the suffering of so many others.
I have been to third world countries before (Honduras, Peru, and Kenya). I have even been to third world countries when there was a drought (Zambia and Zimbabwe), but I was younger, more naïve, and doing the tourist thing so I did not (or chose not?) to notice the tragedies around me.
This experience was much different. Ethiopia seemed poorer and the plight of their people more difficult. My heart was more involved since we were adopting some of their children. I knew more and I was desperately trying to see through the American scales on my eyes.
But looking with new eyes can be painful. On this second day I was riding in a mini bus with the other families that were adopting that week. We stood out on crowded streets, especially when many of the crowds are beggars desperate for money. Unemployment in Ethiopia is 47%. This means that the disabled have virtually no chance of getting a job as well as many able bodied workers. And so they turn to the streets, looking for coins with which to buy bread. The healthy, the disabled who are healthy enough at least to crawl to the streets, women carrying babies, and children are all there. At a rare stop light our mini bus paused and a young boy, about two years older than K.D., came up to the window to beg. When he saw K.D. in the van along with all of us "forengees" (foreigners), he got excited and K.D. and the beggar boy started speaking rapidly to each other. The beggar boy put his hand on the window and K.D. did likewise. K.D. turned to me without taking his hand off the window and was yelling. "Papa! Papa! Papa!" He wanted me to look – to see the boy.
I did look. I did see the boy. And I was seeing past my American scales. And what I saw haunted me.
I saw a world full of children. I saw that the children had no control over where they were born. I saw some kids being born in America, some in Europe, some in China, some in South America, some in Ethiopia. I saw the more than 4 million Ethiopian orphans along with who knows how many more living in poverty. And I saw two boys, touching though a pane of glass. One of those boys was being thrust into a life with all that the world could offer and his future was intensely bright. The other boy must fight for survival begging on the streets of a poor country and his future looked intensely dark.
The light turned green. We pulled away. One boy was left behind.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Friday, March 9, 2007
Activities from the Second Day in Ethiopia
Unpacking the Trip -- Part 3
This series of posts is all about our trip to Ethiopia, delivered in small bits over time. Here is what we did on the second full day in Ethiopia (the first full day with our new kids!).
We all went shopping in the morning. One of the places we went was to a coffee shop to purchase some Ethiopian coffee. It is said that coffee originated in the land of Ethiopia. When we were walking out of the store, a gentleman talked to me for a little while. When he heard that we were adopting the kids that were with us, he wanted to make sure he understood correctly that they would be going to live with us in America. He seemed very pleased to find out that they were. As I was talking to him, K.D. was playing with the camera on my shoulder. What a great surprise it was when I got home to find that he took a picture of the man. As we parted, the man said to me, "God bless you for what you are doing."
After a little more shopping we had lunch at a pizza place close to the guest house. Here is a shot of us eating outside.
After lunch we got all dressed up to go to the U.S. embassy in order to get immigrant visas for the kids to enter the U.S. We had a few minutes to hang out outside at the guest house while we waited for our ride to show up. Here is one of my favorite shots from the whole trip - the three kids on the steps of the guest house.
Here is a great video of the kids doing some singing while we waited. The woman's voice you hear in the background is the missionary who started the guest house.
In the evening, our adoption agency hosted us at a very nice traditional Ethiopian restaurant. It was so nice that they had guards with metal detectors at the doors to enforce their strict "no gun" policy. The next two video clips are 30 second clips of the band and a singer. There is a fair amount of background noise, but I think you can still get a flavor of the music.
Many of the art in Ethiopia has to do with the Queen of Sheba and her visit to King Solomon. Even the lamp shade next to us depicted this scene.
Finally, here is a shot of our communal "plate" of food as well as part of our dinner party enjoying their meal.
This series of posts is all about our trip to Ethiopia, delivered in small bits over time. Here is what we did on the second full day in Ethiopia (the first full day with our new kids!).
We all went shopping in the morning. One of the places we went was to a coffee shop to purchase some Ethiopian coffee. It is said that coffee originated in the land of Ethiopia. When we were walking out of the store, a gentleman talked to me for a little while. When he heard that we were adopting the kids that were with us, he wanted to make sure he understood correctly that they would be going to live with us in America. He seemed very pleased to find out that they were. As I was talking to him, K.D. was playing with the camera on my shoulder. What a great surprise it was when I got home to find that he took a picture of the man. As we parted, the man said to me, "God bless you for what you are doing."
After a little more shopping we had lunch at a pizza place close to the guest house. Here is a shot of us eating outside.
After lunch we got all dressed up to go to the U.S. embassy in order to get immigrant visas for the kids to enter the U.S. We had a few minutes to hang out outside at the guest house while we waited for our ride to show up. Here is one of my favorite shots from the whole trip - the three kids on the steps of the guest house.
Here is a great video of the kids doing some singing while we waited. The woman's voice you hear in the background is the missionary who started the guest house.
In the evening, our adoption agency hosted us at a very nice traditional Ethiopian restaurant. It was so nice that they had guards with metal detectors at the doors to enforce their strict "no gun" policy. The next two video clips are 30 second clips of the band and a singer. There is a fair amount of background noise, but I think you can still get a flavor of the music.
Many of the art in Ethiopia has to do with the Queen of Sheba and her visit to King Solomon. Even the lamp shade next to us depicted this scene.
Finally, here is a shot of our communal "plate" of food as well as part of our dinner party enjoying their meal.
Thursday, March 8, 2007
Found - Dress Up Clothes!
F.G. and K.D. found the dress up clothes tonight. Here are a few photos of that and some other shots from the night.
While all of the fun was going on, Miss Bookworm was back in the office plugging away with her homework.
While all of the fun was going on, Miss Bookworm was back in the office plugging away with her homework.
Frugality, Gum, and Great Grandmothers
Sometimes I puff my chest up a little as I feel proud about the fact that my wife and I are frugal (or at least my wife is). My wife shops at Aldi's, cuts coupons, and shops for clothes at the thrift store (but only on the last Wednesday of the month when things are half price). That is frugal!
Or is it?
The other day I was in charge of the masses when CrazyMom was away. F.G. wanted some gum so I gave her a piece. Now I admit that I don't know if she has had gum before and I did not watch to see what she did with it and all of that other stuff I should have done. When I came home from work the next day, my wife started asking me about gum. It turned out that F.G. was found chewing gum sometime during the day. I was pretty sure that F.G. chewed the gum the night before and that she had brushed her teeth and did not have it then. We started to wonder if she stuck it somewhere for the night.
While we were talking about this, F.G. somehow understood what we were talking about, ran off, and came back with 1/3 of a stick of gum. She evidently had a third of a stick the night before, a third of the stick that day, and was saving the last third for the next day!
This is just one incident along with many others. K.D. got a look of horror when he dropped a jug of juice and it broke. I don't think wasting food goes over very well in Ethiopia. F.G. and K.D. found a coin in our house, knew it was money and that money is valuable, and marched off to find CrazyMom to give her the coin.
When I use to go visit my great grandmother in the nursing home as a child, she would often talk about the old couple down the hall. The OLD couple down the hall!!! Ha! What did she think she was?!? I learned from this that old is relative and I am learning from F.G. and K.D. that frugal is relative as well.
While we were in Ethiopia, the missionary couple we were staying with told us that if you give an apple to an Ethiopian who is hungry, he will not eat it. He would take the apple to the market, sell it, and use the money to by a few loaves of bread. That casts a whole new light on what it means to be frugal.
Or is it?
The other day I was in charge of the masses when CrazyMom was away. F.G. wanted some gum so I gave her a piece. Now I admit that I don't know if she has had gum before and I did not watch to see what she did with it and all of that other stuff I should have done. When I came home from work the next day, my wife started asking me about gum. It turned out that F.G. was found chewing gum sometime during the day. I was pretty sure that F.G. chewed the gum the night before and that she had brushed her teeth and did not have it then. We started to wonder if she stuck it somewhere for the night.
While we were talking about this, F.G. somehow understood what we were talking about, ran off, and came back with 1/3 of a stick of gum. She evidently had a third of a stick the night before, a third of the stick that day, and was saving the last third for the next day!
This is just one incident along with many others. K.D. got a look of horror when he dropped a jug of juice and it broke. I don't think wasting food goes over very well in Ethiopia. F.G. and K.D. found a coin in our house, knew it was money and that money is valuable, and marched off to find CrazyMom to give her the coin.
When I use to go visit my great grandmother in the nursing home as a child, she would often talk about the old couple down the hall. The OLD couple down the hall!!! Ha! What did she think she was?!? I learned from this that old is relative and I am learning from F.G. and K.D. that frugal is relative as well.
While we were in Ethiopia, the missionary couple we were staying with told us that if you give an apple to an Ethiopian who is hungry, he will not eat it. He would take the apple to the market, sell it, and use the money to by a few loaves of bread. That casts a whole new light on what it means to be frugal.
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
"To Grow"
Unpacking the Trip -- Part 2
When we were at the care center to pick up our kids, we got to spend several hours there where we played with the kids, signed papers, and ate lunch. One of the highlights for me was to go to the "class" that they had. There is a teacher/counselor who holds class with all of the kids. The class started with singing led by one of the older girls.
After the singing, there was a lesson about adoption. Notice in the picture below that the teacher wrote the word adoption in English on the board. I think she may have done that for my benefit.
One of the things she asked the kids (we later found out since the lesson was in Amharic) was why they were going to America. Our K.D. raised his hand and answered, "To grow."
Just two short words sums up the perspective of our new five year old on what adoption means. Having the opportunity to grow is something we take for granted here in America. While my birth kids never think twice about having this privilege, K.D. understands well that not all kids in the world are so lucky.
When we were at the care center to pick up our kids, we got to spend several hours there where we played with the kids, signed papers, and ate lunch. One of the highlights for me was to go to the "class" that they had. There is a teacher/counselor who holds class with all of the kids. The class started with singing led by one of the older girls.
After the singing, there was a lesson about adoption. Notice in the picture below that the teacher wrote the word adoption in English on the board. I think she may have done that for my benefit.
 |
| From Ethiopia Trip... |
One of the things she asked the kids (we later found out since the lesson was in Amharic) was why they were going to America. Our K.D. raised his hand and answered, "To grow."
Just two short words sums up the perspective of our new five year old on what adoption means. Having the opportunity to grow is something we take for granted here in America. While my birth kids never think twice about having this privilege, K.D. understands well that not all kids in the world are so lucky.
Sunday, March 4, 2007
Thoughts from THE EVENT – Meeting the Kids!
Unpacking the Trip -- Part 1
The last post had a first round of photos from the trip which included when we first met the kids. As I look back over my journal, it is filled with random thoughts to remember from the day. Here are some of them.
When our car pulled into the care center, it was swarmed with kids. The workers shooed away all but three – our F.G. and K.D. and the child our friend who was with us was adopting. When the car door opened, K.D. was there to jump on me. "Papa! Papa!" he kept yelling over and over as he latched on to me and would not let go. It was not so much a sentimental moment, it seemed to me, but rather a moment where he was finally able to lay his hands on his trophy. I was a prize – a new dad from the land of America – to be ushered around and displayed to all. K.D. was quite possessive for the first few minutes, shoving away any child who came too close. He was also very determined not to be left behind. If I went too close the car or had to get something out of it, he would run and jump in the car. There was no way he was going to be left behind!
F.G. took hold of my wife as she opened the car door. She kissed her repeatedly and clutched her tightly for awhile. It seemed like she suddenly became aware that she did not know how long until we were going to leave and she took off and disappeared inside. She returned moments later with a small clear plastic backpack with an item or two in it. Nothing looked particularly valuable but I suspected that any possession could be a prize possession for a child at the care center. She gave it to K.D. to wear on his back. It was not until later in the day when we were back at the guest house that we discovered what was in the backpack. There was a small wallet/purse that had two square black and white photos about 1.5" on a side of her mother. What a treasure indeed.
It is fascinating to look back on this event with almost two weeks under our belts now. We have been told that the bonding that needs to take place between a new adoptive parent and child can take anywhere from one hour to one year or more. We are fortunate that the bonds seem to be developing quickly for us. F.G. and K.D. already at random times will say "dosycee" (Amharic for "I love you") to us. They love to crawl up in my lap, invite me to play with them, and F.G. in particular loves the game we play of catching each other's eyes. We would love them, of course, if the love we have for them was not reciprocated. But how sweet it has been for us that it has.
The last post had a first round of photos from the trip which included when we first met the kids. As I look back over my journal, it is filled with random thoughts to remember from the day. Here are some of them.
When our car pulled into the care center, it was swarmed with kids. The workers shooed away all but three – our F.G. and K.D. and the child our friend who was with us was adopting. When the car door opened, K.D. was there to jump on me. "Papa! Papa!" he kept yelling over and over as he latched on to me and would not let go. It was not so much a sentimental moment, it seemed to me, but rather a moment where he was finally able to lay his hands on his trophy. I was a prize – a new dad from the land of America – to be ushered around and displayed to all. K.D. was quite possessive for the first few minutes, shoving away any child who came too close. He was also very determined not to be left behind. If I went too close the car or had to get something out of it, he would run and jump in the car. There was no way he was going to be left behind!
F.G. took hold of my wife as she opened the car door. She kissed her repeatedly and clutched her tightly for awhile. It seemed like she suddenly became aware that she did not know how long until we were going to leave and she took off and disappeared inside. She returned moments later with a small clear plastic backpack with an item or two in it. Nothing looked particularly valuable but I suspected that any possession could be a prize possession for a child at the care center. She gave it to K.D. to wear on his back. It was not until later in the day when we were back at the guest house that we discovered what was in the backpack. There was a small wallet/purse that had two square black and white photos about 1.5" on a side of her mother. What a treasure indeed.
It is fascinating to look back on this event with almost two weeks under our belts now. We have been told that the bonding that needs to take place between a new adoptive parent and child can take anywhere from one hour to one year or more. We are fortunate that the bonds seem to be developing quickly for us. F.G. and K.D. already at random times will say "dosycee" (Amharic for "I love you") to us. They love to crawl up in my lap, invite me to play with them, and F.G. in particular loves the game we play of catching each other's eyes. We would love them, of course, if the love we have for them was not reciprocated. But how sweet it has been for us that it has.
Saturday, March 3, 2007
Photos from Ethiopia (Round #1)
Here is a first round of photos from our trip to Ethiopia. It covers the trip over there and the first day when we got to go to the care center and meet our kids and take them with us.
Being a Better Parent
Since we are currently enjoying the "honeymoon" stage, I have been thinking recently about why it ever has to end. If everybody loves the honeymoon stage so much, why leave it behind? I saw the seeds of change this morning as K.D. wanted something that Little Foot had and Little Foot pulled back. Up to this point, he would give K.D. whatever he wanted. And as I extend my finger to point at Little Foot, as it often the case, I notice the three fingers pointing back at me.
You see, I have been a better dad lately. I have been doing more of the "extras" that I have done at various times in the past. You know, the things like making sure I track down every kid (and mom!) whenever I leave the house or arrive home to give a hug. Being sure not to miss tucking the kids in at night. Catching the eye of my kids on a regular basis to help ensure that bonding is taking place. Not touching my office work from when I get home until supper and instead building blocks and reading with the kids. Now it would be wrong for me to do this for just the new kids, so I have been doing it for all of my kids of course. That is why adoption is making me a better parent of my birth kids.
The last few days have been wonderful, but I know it will change and a lot of it will be because of me. I must fight the temptation to stop doing the extras, to become complacent, to take for granted all of the small joys we share with our children. I hope I will not let the hectic pace of life seep in and contaminate my priorities. I hope I can be the better dad I have been lately for a long time.
You see, I have been a better dad lately. I have been doing more of the "extras" that I have done at various times in the past. You know, the things like making sure I track down every kid (and mom!) whenever I leave the house or arrive home to give a hug. Being sure not to miss tucking the kids in at night. Catching the eye of my kids on a regular basis to help ensure that bonding is taking place. Not touching my office work from when I get home until supper and instead building blocks and reading with the kids. Now it would be wrong for me to do this for just the new kids, so I have been doing it for all of my kids of course. That is why adoption is making me a better parent of my birth kids.
The last few days have been wonderful, but I know it will change and a lot of it will be because of me. I must fight the temptation to stop doing the extras, to become complacent, to take for granted all of the small joys we share with our children. I hope I will not let the hectic pace of life seep in and contaminate my priorities. I hope I can be the better dad I have been lately for a long time.
Friday, March 2, 2007
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