Saturday, August 23, 2008

Numbed by Life

I printed off our monthly calendar the other day and after it rolled off the printer a second page came out. The second page listed all of the overflow items that did not fit into the tidy squares on the calendar. Needless to say, life is really busy right now.

There is me trying to get ready for teaching school and CrazyMom trying to get ready for teaching home school. There is having our kids on five different soccer teams. I am turning over a rental and teaching Sunday school. Then there is the impending family trip over Labor Day.

All of it has just left me numb. I smile on the outside, but life is joyless on the inside.

I admit that I have a full life and I am often operating at maximum capacity. Usually it is OK but then I hit a stretch of a week or two when it is just too much. There is nobody to blame but myself. Philosophically, I know God only gives me enough to fill my plate and it is me who adds the other stuff to make it too full. I just have a hard time knowing what things to say no to.

As I mechanically go through my days I have not lost hope because my calendar shows me things will ease in about two weeks. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

This makes me reflect on those who have real problems. Problems that suffocate you for which there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Problems that numb you to the core and make life a hopeless blur. As Ethiopia’s food crisis continues in the very region our children are from, faces come to my mind - faces of mothers trying to find food for their children in a dry and weary land.

My numbing stretch will pass in a matter of weeks. Their numbing stretch will last much longer. And when it does pass, will it be too late for their children?


Joy Portis said...

Can I copy and paste this post to my blog :-)........ My thoughts and feelings exactly! Praying we can both get off auto pilot soon and feel the same joy inside we show on the outside.

When you figure out how to trim down the schedule let me know!


Michelle Riggs said...

There have been so many times in my life that I have been where you are now. Many times God has used stress that I created, to help me refocus on the things that He wanted me to do.

Our family has now crossed over to the other side of the equation, when our 3 year old daughter was diagnosed with leukemia. What I have learned so far is that God is always good. His plans are always perfect and His grace is sufficient for me. The "work" that we are doing now is hard, but the peace that we feel could only come from God.

I too think about the mothers in Ethiopia. My heart breaks for the mothers who are praying for help and needing food and basic medical care. I need to do more to help them.

erika's funny farm said...

You know, it is a very wise man who can step back, acknowledge the numbness and still be broken for others who are less fortunate.

Norah said...

Once again, well said. My you have a way with words.