Thursday, May 1, 2008

I am a Hypocrite

I am a hypocrite and I have the evidence to prove it.

Exhibit #1 – Going through the adoption process we had to gather recommendations. One friend wrote a rec that was glowing beyond belief. Here is a sample phrase: “Neither CrazyMom nor CrazyD ever raise their voices to their kids.” Knowing that the reader would balk at this, the friend felt compelled to add this note at the end: “I realize that this application may seem overstated, but I stand by every word”. He can stand by his words, but he will lose money if he bets on them.

Exhibit #2 – I end up in conversations where the other person is going on about how we have done such a wonderful thing and we are incredible people and they are amazed by us and so on and so on and so on.

Exhibit #3 – As I look over my blog posts, it is clear that they paint a picture of me that is too favorable. While some say in the comments that I am honest, I am only honest when I want to be. I disclose only those things that I am comfortable disclosing. So in total, the projected image is too rosy.

What does it matter if people think more highly of me than they should? It matters. People who think I am some sort of super dad are prone to think that they could never do what I have done. And when they think that, my hypocrisy has hurt the cause of orphans in the world.

Here is the real me. I have moments where I wish that all of my kids would go away. I have moments where I don’t feel loving towards CrazyMom. And I certainly have bad days where I am not pleasant to be around. I suspect that I am a lot like you. Or, maybe you always want your kids around, always feel loving toward your spouse, and always are pleasant to be around, in which case you are much farther ahead than I am.

So if you are considering adopting, don’t think that those of us who have gone before you are in some way better than you. We are not. Rather, we testify to the fact that someone just like you can adopt and make a dream come true for a child – a dream for a family.


Anonymous said...

Clicking on "family" did not go anywhere successfully.

Katie said...

I'm glad to know you're just as real as the rest of us. :-)

CrazyD said...

Oops. Thanks for the heads up, Anonymous. I fixed the link.


amy smith said...

if we thought you were perfect, no one would read your blog. we read because you get it. simple as that.

Anonymous said...

I read because it reminds that there are real people out there who have a true heart. We are not perfect beings, but we try as hard as we can. If anyone out there claims different then I would doubt their story and would no longer follow their blogs. Your family seems like they have their ups and downs but you love each other at the end of the day. Good Bad and even ugly, never doubt the image the you give us. Thank you.

Kris Long said...

Crazy D - thanks for fessing up. If it makes you feel any better, I for one do not think more highly of you then I ought.
However, I do think more highly of your wife then I ought.
(insert smile)

Jim & Laurel said...

Great post!

When people try to portray me as "Super Mom" (homeschooling mother of 13 children, who also works full-time outside the house), I just explain that I am an ordinary mom with an extraordinary God.

Laurel :)