Thursday, March 20, 2008

What is in a Name?

CrazyMom wanted me to write a post and let all of you know that Anna’s real name is not Anna. Anna is just her fake blog name. Her real name is . . . well . . . I can’t say here.

You see, CrazyMom and I had a little “incident” at breakfast this morning. I was telling her about how a woman came up to me at church and asked me, “How is Anna doing?” using the blog name, Anna, rather than her real name.

“Did you correct her?” asked CrazyMom. Grammatically it is correct to use a “?” here, but the tone was more of a “!” and the look in her eyes conveyed that what she was really saying was, “I am going to be polite and ask this as a question, but I am pretty sure you did not correct her and you should have.”

“Well, um, you see,” I began as I was bringing to bear all the intellectual power I had to navigate the situation. “It was not like it was just her and me. There were lots of people around and so . . .”

“There were lots of people around, huh? So now everybody thinks her name is Anna and you didn’t bother to set the record straight?”

In order to buy some time for my brain to work, I turned to Anna who was sitting next to me and said, “Here you go Anna” as I fed her another bite.

Unfortunately, I called her Anna rather than her real name. Out of the frying pan and into the fire.

A bit of history is in order here. When it comes to naming a child, CrazyMom generates a list, talks to me about it and I respond with funny, vague, and irrelevant comments. She then picks a name and then I provide a little satirical humor and offer a crazy alternative. Finally, the child officially gets the name CrazyMom has picked out. I am confident that marriage counselors would not recommend this model, but it has always worked for us before.

CrazyMom has naming rights because I think that you just pick a name that you like and then call the kid that name. CrazyMom understands that naming a child is more complex than the IRS tax code. Who knew you could not name a child the same name as any family member up through second cousins? Or that all names that coworkers have used for their kids are off limits, but only if the child was born in the last 10.5 months? And evidently the list goes on.

Another reason that CrazyMom has naming rights is because I am more prone to call them by numbers anyway. If we are out with the kids and have to go our separate ways I will say, “Hey, Hon. I am taking 1, 3, and 4. You’ve got 2, 5, and 6.”

For some crazy reason when it came to naming Anna I broke our naming model and said I wanted the name Anna. CrazyMom pulled out the IRS code books and showed me why the name could not be Anna. I then passively aggressively named her Anna on the blog. The unfortunate part is that many family and friends have read the blog daily for weeks before actually meeting the little munchkin. So to them, she is Anna.

So for everybody out there who knows us, please bail me out here and next time you see CrazyMom, ask her how __________ is doing, and not Anna.

Of course, when you see me, you can ask how Anna is doing. :-)


Sophie said...

You are hilarious! I think that Anna is a great name :)

Kris Long said...

I've got your back Crazymom. I understand.

Sherry said...

Bah hahahahaha!

Yeah, men shouldn't have naming rights. This is a well known fact. It's good that you nicknamed her Anna for the blog though. Anonymity is important in this crazy internet world!

And I am happy to go on calling her Anna...I love the name. :)